Toks Aruoture

My buzz word this season is ‘Unapologetic.’

be-unapologetic-toks-aruoture

Being a recovered people-pleaser, the last few years have been about peeling back the layers of other people’s expectation of me and discarding them. The process of removing wrong beliefs and expectations has been a long and occasionally painful one, you don’t get to peel off old stuff without stripping off some skin.

The Problem

When Barbra Streisand came on to the big screen, she was considered too Jewish, too ugly and too loud. Many who had been defined by the expectations of others adjusted their personality to suit the requirements of the powers that be. Barbra was expected to follow suit by reducing her voice, altering her appearance and neutralising her Jewishness so she could fit into the box they had built for the likes of her. Ms Streisand wasn’t here for that. She was unapologetic as she presented her talent, her ethnicity and her entire existence loudly and without holding back. And she won.

The Restriction to being unapologetic

And that’s another buzz word, ‘boxes.’ This past weekend I came to understand that there are boxes built for each of us. The cases are stacked in a hierarchy, one on top the other, and the system in place allows you to rise- but only within your space. You cannot grow out of your box and into the one above you. This means that whether you like it or not, the limit to how far you can rise has been set.

The Key to becoming unapologetic

The solution is not to keep trying to expand within your space. The key is to get out of the box, so that the sky, not the lid, becomes your limit. You do so by breaking through the walls. The walls are formed from conversations that have been predetermined, your own fixed mindsets and other people’s expectation of you. You break out by taking your cue from your inside, your spirit, which is one with God. You rise by living unapologetically.

Your Commitment to living unapologetically

You cannot be unapologetic in your living if your self-worth comes from the approval or celebration of others. Approval addiction is equivalent to drawing fuel from their praises, instead of the seed of your purpose buried inside you. There are conversations you know you shouldn’t be a part of. Trust your intuition and remove yourself from circles of friends who prefer the safety of the box.

Do you need to work on your mind? You bet. We all do. Regularly inspect the source of all thoughts and the cause of your beliefs. Unbelieve the lies, then believe the truth instead. My truth is the word of God, not a man of God or a prophet or a motivational guru.

There are many enemies that keep us from living unapologetically, but you have to identify which ones have been assigned to you. They show up in your mind and in your surroundings. They have no real power, only that which you give them. This is not a ‘start 2020 right‘ post. This is a ‘live your life so you can be who you were created to be‘, post.

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Have an amazing week ahead!

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