It was a surreal experience when the UPS man came into the shop.
“I remember you,” He exclaimed. “I used to collect parcels from you at Widmore road.”
This was 7 or 8 years ago when my office was a small desk in the corner of my room and here he was now collecting parcels from my boutique in central London. I share this not to brag but to publicly acknowledge how far God has brought me.
In the last few weeks, my lesson has been on The Impostor Syndrome. This is the one where you refuse to accept your own accomplishments and you play down any compliments. I have struggled to accept that I’ve done well so far. Last week, I recognised that my marketing and growth efforts have been hindered by this syndrome. Think about it; if you don’t think you’re worthy, why would you expect your target audience to patronize you? And if you are not expecting them, you won’t prepare for them or even recognise them when they show up. The term comes from feeling like a fraud because you refuse to accept that you are responsible for the work you’ve done.
Impostor Syndrome will stop you from forming relationships with people who can help you get to your next level- because you don’t think you’re worthy.
It will prevent you from making big moves because you don’t think you deserve the accolades that will come with the success.
If you find yourself shying away from recognition, playing down your successes or even dumbing yourself down so you can fit into a space you’ve outgrown, chances are that you have the syndrome.
The impostor syndrome will have you constantly searching for validation, often masqueraded as inspiration because you don’t think your ideas are good enough.
The first step in getting cured is recognising it and acknowledging it. My name is Toks and I have impostor syndrome. Yes, 12 step style.
Next write out your dreams, past and present so you can face up to what you’ve been avoiding.
Finally, consider getting an accountability partner. Speak out your dreams to a trusted person to own them, then go and conquer. Side note; don’t choose someone who is also suffering from the same ailment.
How does this show up in your life? Look out for the signs which may be unique to you and give it all you’ve got.
Why do I share so much about my experiences? Because our purpose is connected to helping others. If my words end up helping you move up a notch in your journey, I would have achieved my purpose.
Have a blessed week!
