Have you finally settled into our new normal? I admit it took me a minute. Yesterday found me packaging orders to be sent out and how I longed for our packaging area in the shop, where sellotape and stickers and tissues live. 

Thankful

But, this isn’t a complaint by any means. I am thankful for life and good health. I am loving the increased family time, which has also found me uncovering harmful mindsets I didn’t know I had.

Look into your life

I had the unexpected privilege of looking at my life from the outside while playing back a recording I made during the day. Beyond hearing the speech I recorded, I listened to the background track to my life.

So I have been on a public-speaking and coaching course to launch me into a second career, and part of the work involves recording and listening back to my talk. My oldest son walked in halfway and began peering intently at me. I asked what the matter was. “I thought you were crying mama,’ he replied. After reassuring him that I wasn’t crying, (I had a parched throat), I carried on with my recording. Still, I didn’t finish because it sounded robotic and not as natural as I usually do on stage. 

Bedtime found me listening to the playback, and I heard my kids mulling in and out of the room, feet shuffling, stifled laughter and a question from a concerned son, are you crying mama? The playback sounded different from the real-time. The speech was much better than I thought, and the question from my son showed up as a concern in the replay, but a needless intrusion in real-time.

What is the soundtrack to your life?

The sounds of my kids in the background sounded like life and happiness and joy, the exact experience I would have picked for myself, had I had the option to choose. My life looked different when I looked in than when I looked out which is our default way of doing life.  

Have you ever tried looking through a two-way mirror? On the outside looking in, you see nothing but your reflection. But when you look outside from the inside, you don’t see your reflection. You see the full picture of what’s going on. The picture looking out is different from the one looking in.

You have everything you need

That’s life. The ordinary, boring life you think you are living is probably the life that you would have picked, had you been given a choice. Granted, it isn’t perfect- nothing is, but I genuinely believe we have everything we need to live the life we want. Even though I loved what I saw looking inwards, there is so much I’d like to change. Still, I also recognise that I have the ability and resources to change them, and the grace to accept what I cannot change.

Are you willing to accept what you can’t change?

The question then becomes, are you willing to make changes? Can you accept what you cannot change? When the imposed rest came into place, I decided I was going to live my life as usual. The whole world might be fretting and making new plans, but for me, it would be business as usual. On hindsight I can spot a bit of cockiness in my resolve. The truth is, I wasn’t willing to change and I struggled to keep my pace when the world slowed down.

When you look out into the world, your lenses are filtered by thoughts and mindsets, both good and bad. This alters what you see. The inward view, on the other hand, is less judgemental and therefore more revealing.

Are you still comparing yourself to her?

We compare ourselves unfavourably to someone who seems to live the life we want. From the mums who seem so together to the competitor with thousands of followers. We compare because we are looking from the outside in, and we have no thoughts about the person. 

Also, most people live outwardly, which means they draw conclusions based on what they see or feel. Inside out living draws conclusions based on truth received by your spirit, which is one with God.

Look into your life. Again

I invite you to step back and look at your life from the outside, as though you are a visitor looking in. Search for the components you thought were absent. Consider the areas you vowed you wouldn’t change. Everything you need is inside you.