The Power of Small Mistakes

We have all been there, how one seemingly tiny error ends up setting everything on fire.

In 2013, Justine Sacco tweeted a racist comment before boarding a 12 hour flight to South Africa. At the time she was a PR exec for a large company. What made Justine’s tweet different from all the others who have made mistakes, was the spectacular way in which the ensuing events played out. You see, thousands of feet above the ground, she was blissfully unaware of the fire that was burning as a result of the single match she struck. Not only did the ‘Twitterverse’ go nuts, but her employers released a press release to announce the termination of her job. By the time she landed in SA, the ‘world’ was waiting to watch her reaction as she discovered what she had done- including the fact that she was now unemployed.

Then there was Mark Fuhrman, former LAPD detective, called in to testify in the O.J Simpson trial. His little fires consisted of two questions which led the jury to believe he was racist and that he most likely planted evidence against O.J Simpson, thereby placing him at the murder site. One question asked if he had used racist slurs in the ten years prior to which he replied in the negative. But tapes soon emerged of him using slurs repeatedly.

The second question inquired if he had planted evidence to incriminate the defendant and he chose not to respond. This, of course, led them to believe he most likely did, and the prosecution lost the case. It is said that the case hung by the thin thread of Mark Fuhrman and as we know, O.J is free today. I confess that I don’t know if he did it or not, but that’s neither here nor there.

Let’s not forget Derek Chauvin who has caused one of the biggest fires in the United States and beyond in recent times. A single thought to kneel on George Floyd’s neck was the spark that set things ablaze. The result was a dead man and worldwide protests still in full swing as I write this. This fire has also done some good, which is to raise awareness of the fact that black lives have not mattered, and they do. The hashtag, #blacklivesmatter has thankfully been one of the most used, if not the most, which is a small step towards social equality and justice. In fact, the protests led to the eventual arrests of the four police officers but even better, is the increasing awareness by non-blacks, of the injustice faced by black people.

Throughout history, we see how a matchstick can set a forest on fire. Whether it’s a single word, a social media post or a seemingly irrelevant opinion, it would appear that the little balls of fires, not the great ones wreak the most havoc.

I believe mindsets and beliefs act as receptors just waiting for the right opportunity or the fuel to set things ablaze.

But not all fires come to destroy, some come to clear a path for you to go on to greatness as it did for Steve Harvey when he announced Miss Columbia as the winner of the Miss Universe Pageant in 2015. 

Mr Harvey chose to walk back figuratively and physically to correct his mistake, at the risk of burning his career. Think about it. This was a major global event that was being watched by millions in every country, and he made history by announcing the wrong name. But he had options. He could have silently let the PR people take care of the mistake, he could have blamed it on the staff who told him to ‘announce the next name’ or that the print on the cards was small. But Steve Harvey believed the price of integrity, which was costly, was worth more to him and he chose that over his reputation. He went back to rectify his mistake. That little fire ended up burning a trail for him which has led to greater things in his career.

I believe there is a pivotal moment when a fire has been lit, where if you act quickly enough, you can change the course of things. 

But to do so, you have to make a decision ahead of time to do one of these three things:

1. Practice Patience:

Wait for the urge to pass. Fires are often lit by our tongues. The words we say or tweet expose our thoughts. And thoughts are not reliable, so if a fleeting thought begins to make its way out of your mouth- or keyboard, patience can stop it in its tracks. Our emotions are actions yet to be manifested and sometimes the action we take isn’t congruent with the situation, or with what we are feeling. I say this because acting on your emotions is natural, but if you don’t practice patience, you will do or say something damaging before allowing the impulse to die out.

2. Know your mindsets- and uproot the wrong ones.

Mindsets are receptors waiting for the right moment to cause an explosion. The wrong word spoken by your boss. The ideal situation for a crisis. You cannot change or control external occurrences, but you have power over your own response. There are people who say things just to watch you react badly. You know them. The button pushers. We all have them in and around our lives. Knowing who they are and the effect they can have on you- especially when you are in a particular emotional state, is necessary. There are family members I start to forgive before they even arrive at my house, because I know the type of energy they come with.

3. Decide to Practice Humility

Choose integrity over popularity and admit your mistake, just like Steve Harvey did.  In episode 6 of the Living Inside Out podcast, I talk about emotional decision making. The pain of humility is what will drive you away from making a difficult, humiliating decision. But how about if you choose to use that pain to propel you forward, like I described in Episode 7? Listen to the episode on Dealing with Intense Emotions to learn how to use a strong, negative feeling to propel you forward.

I believe the obstacles on our path are given to strengthen us, and the gifts within us help us navigate challenging situations.

Can I ask you to do one thing this week? Pay close attention to the source of your thoughts. Don’t just toss them out of you don’t agree, question where they came from.
This will lay the foundation for the next episode where we will be looking at mindsets. Let’s continue chatting on social media, I am @toksaruoture on Instagram and Facebook, ooh and do join my friends’ list.