Female Entrepreneur in Search of Balance
When I had my first son, along with the exhilaration of giving birth to my angel came the need to adopt new habits. For example, the day I made plans go to out with friends. It was only after I got off the phone I realised I’d seen myself going out with my friends but I’d left the baby out of the picture. I could no longer accept invitations on a whim, baby-sitting now had to be factored in. As a business owner with a busy household, I too, have been in search of the elusive work-life balance. I divided my life into five segments to ensure no area of my life was left out of the picture- Family, Home, Business, Writing, Toks- because the nurturer needs nurturing. A few weeks ago a situation with my son caused me to question my ability as a mum to raise this child into the purpose-driven man he was created to be. On that day, nothing else got my attention. My home didn’t get any care, my husband and other children were ignored, I didn’t tackle any work and although my soul was hurting, I did nothing to nurture it. Then I learned an invaluable lesson about Containing my Fires which I shared in a previous post. In a nutshell, going forward, I was to ensure that a fire in one area did not spread to the other areas. Segmenting my life the way I did that has had more than a positive effect on me. There are days I pour 12 unbroken hours into the business and by the time I get home I just want to hit the sack. But then two or more of my sons end up on my bed telling me about their day and asking about mine. I share with them the lessons I learned and pat them on the back for what they did that day. In the past I have felt that mummy-guilt that insisted I wasn’t spending enough time with the kids or I was giving only the leftovers of my day to them. But then I gained a new understanding. Each time I cook, put away laundry or tidy up the sitting room, I have blessed my home. Whenever I hug or chat with the boys, listen to the same story for the tenth time or watch a not so funny YouTube video that they find hilarious, I am winning at mumming. Sitting with hubby to watch a TV show I can’t be bothered about, while we catch up on each other’s day is me being a supportive wife. Every time I say an encouraging word to an expectant parent who visits the shop, or I share a life lesson on social media, I have practiced being inspirational. When I take 20 minutes by myself for a Teriyaki Salmon Salad at Pret A Manger, I’m nurturing Toks. Although I have big goals for all areas of my life, I am learning to celebrate the itsy-bitsy dailies. As a result, I feel more rounded as a woman and less guilty as mum. I no longer log around a to-do list that constantly yells out how far behind I have fallen. I don’t know that there’s such a thing called work-life balance, or that as women we will ever declare just how balanced our lives are, but taking time to acknowledge the little you do in each area of work and life will sure leave you feeling pretty balanced. You may have big goals for your life, but don’t forget to acknowledge and celebrate the dailies. What does work-life balance look like for you?
