Toks Aruoture

The Danger of Comparing yourself to Others

dangers-of-comparison-with-others

Do you compare yourself to others? And if so, do you do so unfavourably? One reason we compare ourselves to others is that our soul craves physical evidence that we are advancing. So it sets the next person up as a standard and measures self against them. If you perceive yourself as ‘better’, it translates to you doing well. If the other person is perceived as being further along, then you must be failing. And so begins the work of convincing yourself that you are doing well. Tactics can range from explaining away their success, for example, “She is lucky, her husband is wealthy“- to discrediting their work – “He isn’t really good at consulting, I can do better.” My advice? Use your purpose as your yardstick, not someone else’s work. Remind yourself that you are not in a race.  Pulling someone else down- mentally or verbally does not place you further along on your journey. When you live only skin deep, you tend to use your senses and emotions as tools for moving forward. This isn’t a reliable tool for growth as emotions are in a constant state of change. On the contrary, when you live from the spirit or the core of who you are, your purpose pulls you in the right direction- even if your life appears ineffective. Praying in an understanding addresses the issues that seem to exist. Praying in the Spirit deals with the real thing, what lies beneath. Comparison is like arriving at the scene of an accident on the highway. The emergency services are in attendance, so it is okay to keep driving. But we slow down to stare and in extreme cases, stop to take in the full picture. Comparison slows you down and can even stop you in your tracks. This temptation to compare can be indulgent as it assures us we are progressing even when we are not. During the Oprah Show, the team found themselves in a season where new talk shows were springing up weekly. day. Each episode was more dramatic and attractive to viewers than the last. Oprah’s staff came to her worried about the competition. Her response? “When you’re a horse in a race, you keep your blinders on and just run your race.” I learned not to watch my competitors. I believe that my ability to deliver the finished picture lies within me, not in my competitors. I find keeping tabs on them to be demoralising and distracting. How do you handle the temptation to compare yourself to others?