Coming Full Circle: Transformational Lessons from Lagos
I hope you had a glorious summer and autumn. Is that how much time has passed? My much-needed break from writing and recording has ended, and I am happy to be back with some transformational lessons I have garnered. In this episode, I bring you up to speed with what’s been happening in my corner of the world. My recent trip to Lagos left me feeling incredibly inspired. Nigeria is synonymous with good food and it is a wonder I wasn’t rolled back to London. Let’s just say that I ate like my life depended on trying every cuisine that was out there. I can’t even imagine anyone who cooks mediocre food having the audacity to open a restaurant there. They’ll fail on the first day. As you can see from the photos, the variety is plenty and you are guaranteed to be satisfied every single time. Nigeria always moves me to make new decisions. When you consider the challenges the masses face with the high cost of living, needed infrastructure and more, yet they continue to dream and forge ahead, you will come away feeling like you need some of what Nigerians have. I compared the general mindsets I observed. In Nigeria, everyone constantly aims for better, while we don’t ask for much in the UK—just comfort. There’s nothing wrong with that, but it began a train of thoughts that culminated in addressing mediocrity in my life, which I discussed in this episode. I hope it inspires you. In other news, I delivered my first TED talk! That deserves a whole podcast by itself. Can I ask, no, force you to share it with your network? Thank you in advance 😊 I look forward to your thoughts. Some have called it inspiring, others resilient. I can’t wait to read your comments here or on the YouTibe page. You can do hard things. Listen to the full episode to find out how contracting food poisoning in Frankfurt ended up being one of the best things that could have happened to me. All of the above has led me to resolve to live fully and stop hiding. Because I hide. I economise my presence in certain places and decide on my entrance into rooms based on the level of acceptance I predict. But not anymore. Because something in my home country delivered me from the lie that told me I was standing on someone else’s land. And I needed to be polite and permissive on their soil. Knowing that I belong anywhere that my life takes me is liberating. Owning the ground on which I stand is empowering. ‘I did not come here to be accepted” sounds like the title of a book I will one day write, along with sequels like ‘I Do Not Need Your Permission‘ and ‘I Will Not Dim My Light to Make You Comfortable‘. I invite you to write yours too. Please leave a five-star comment, subscribe, and share this episode with your network; I’d really appreciate it. Thank you! I was recently interviewed on The Resilient Retail Podcast, where I shared about gathering wisps of resilience on our journey. Listen and give a kind review please, thank you! Resources: Episode 54: Recognising the Pieces of Your Dreams
Building Resilience: How to Navigate Challenges without Giving Up
One thing we know is that trials have a clarifying effect on us. Things start to make sense, solutions to long-ago problems emerge, and we create new resolutions. But this only happens if you have a mindset of expectancy, one that is looking for precious gems. And we can only get into that mental space if we are resilient. In this episode, I share some tips on building your resilience. If it has ever made logical sense for you to quit- but you didn’t, that was your muscle of strength being strengthened. We seek comfort, not pain. It is the desire of most people to be comfortable. We rank pleasure over purpose, and when given the option, most of us will choose convenience if chasing the ideal is difficult. The more willing we are, the more opportunity we will get to practice resilience. Resources: Who moved my Cheese Living Inside Out Courses Living Inside Out Newsletter You can now leave me a voice note- a comment or question I will answer during my show. Nothing is off-limits; if I cannot answer your question, I’ll find someone who can. You can also suggest a guest or topic you’d like me to cover.
Why New Year Resolutions Fail
Have you been wondering if your new year resolutions will last? It’s the start of 2023, and we are surrounded by more inspiration and motivation than ever. It would appear, actually, that we are in an incubator, and you may be feeling unbelievably optimistic. Or perhaps you feel overwhelmed and uncomfortable as you struggle and fail to get into the new year, new me vibe. If that’s you, you’re not alone. Reasons New Year Resolutions Fail There are some obvious reasons why new year resolutions fail. New Year resolutions often fail because of a lack of motivation, planning, and accountability. Setting big goals at the beginning of the year can be easy, but it can be challenging to stay on track without a plan for achieving them and someone to hold you accountable. Additionally, you can easily forget or get distracted if you lack the solid motivation to make the resolution happen. To increase your chances of success, create a specific plan with achievable, measurable goals and find an accountability partner who can help you stay on track. But some mindsets can set you up to fail, even with meticulous planning and intrinsic motivation. In this episode, I highlight why new year’s resolutions don’t stick. Past failures may be responsible for your reluctance to set new goals if you are wondering, and I share reasons you might want to step back from all the goodness of motivational gurus, at least for now. Mindsets to Adopt to Avoid Failing You want to avoid motivation overwhelm. Too much food, even when healthy and delicious, will leave you feeling uncomfortable and unable to enjoy the benefits. You risk embracing solutions to a problem you don’t have;’ this will lead you to subconsciously create the problem, so the solution you adopted will be effective. As usual, I share stories from my life; I hope you will leave this episode feeling less burdened, less overwhelmed and with no judgment on how you have chosen to navigate this season and set your new year resolutions. Resources The Temptation of Eve Get Unstuck in 2023 Let’s Connect: Have you subscribed to this podcast? Why don’t you do so on your favourite podcast app? Then head to Youtube.com/toksaruoture to watch and subscribe to my show, Living Inside Out. I would LOVE to connect with you on social; let’s stay in touch at toksauoture.com and hang out on Instagram- @toksaruoture and on Facebook, Living Inside Out.
What’s up, November?
To understand where you stand today and how you got there, you’ve got to know where you’ve been. In this episode, I catch you up on the last three months; I have been on hiatus for that long. It has been a trying season, and while I am still physically in that space of lesson learning, challenges, mentally, I have departed, which is good. Our difficulties come to teach and stretch us. I believe they come to push us to increase our capacity for learning more, living more and being more of who God created us to be. This season has delivered well. Do you work hard to plant and nurture- and forget to pick your fruit? I have been reciting the scripture “I will bear fruit in each season”, but what’s interesting is how often I have planted, nurtured, and borne fruit but not actually picked it. There is something oddly satisfying about knowing you have potential or opportunity but not utilising it. Sometimes it’s because you feel once it’s used up, you’ll have nothing to look forward to. Does that make sense? I know I have lived that lie. At other times we hold back from picking fruit because the possibility of ownership brings us more satisfaction than the striving to own. So after you have worked hard, you don’t cash that cheque and instead hold on to it- which doesn’t make sense, but we do it. I am reminded of the former baseball player Ricky Henderson who received a signing bonus of $1 million. The accounting office for Oakland Athletics called him as they noticed an inconsistency in their books. The cheque hadn’t been cashed, and when Henderson was asked why, he said he had framed it. He didn’t know he had to actually cash it. But you see, cheques often have an expiry date. In the UK, it says valid within three months. And if you choose to remain in the place of possibilities, your fruit will die while still hanging on the tree. New friends, New traits One of the lessons I have learned this season, while still blowing my mind, is how being in a different circle can expose you to your own character traits. That’s been the case with me. As my network expands, I have seen tendencies about myself that I have been shocked by, and I have had to address them. And this again buttresses my point about how challenges come to teach us- I am learning more about myself and my detrimental tendencies. Mindset Mentoring update In other news, my mentoring program is going amazingly well! The programme comprises a mix of live zoom calls, daily thoughts to ponder, activities and in-person meetings with good food (of course!). Here are some of the comments I’ve received so far: “Thank you, Toks, for sharing real wisdom, and being able to see your vision was such a blessing.” “I really enjoyed yesterday’s session. I’ve been thinking about it thought out the day learning how to listen to myself and my own voice and trying to realise it’s also part of self-care as well taking time to listen to myself is self-care.” “I am so hopeful that before the end of this master program we will have more clarity, our mindset would have shifted more (I’m already in a reset mode after yesterday’s session ) and ready to do exploits 🙏🏿💖. I can’t wait for our next session” If you wanted to join in but missed the opportunity, you can do so next year. Send me a message to let me know. When the books are open again for registration, I’ll alert you. Till next time, remember to live from the inside out! Resources: From the Basement Up Podcast: Toks Aruoture- The Baby Cot Shop Affirmation: Like a tree that bears fruit Jeremiah 17:7-8 Get Unstuck: Mindset Mentoring Programme Let’s Connect: Have you subscribed to this podcast? Why don’t you do so on your favourite podcast app? Then head to Youtube.com/toksaruoture to watch and subscribe to my show, Living Inside Out. I would LOVE to connect with you on social; let’s stay in touch at toksauoture.com and hang out on Instagram- @toksaruoture and on Facebook, Living Inside Out.
Believe Again: Reclaiming your Ingenuity
Down memory lane has many benefits, but only if you know to navigate your way to the right spots. There are gems hidden in the dark places we left behind. We shy away from going back there because of the painful memories, but do you know that you displayed incredible strength in that space? How else would you have been here to tell the tale? Yes, it was hard, but you survived. Yes, it was dark, but you found your way out. You never want to experience it again, but you did. And you’re here; scarred? Maybe, but alive. In this episode, I share my experience of going back to one of the darkest periods of my life, and I uncover some personality traits that I buried, along with the experience. I intend to get you to do the same. Storms transform us into better versions of ourselves- but only if we submit to the change process. Some of the gems I uncovered include: Courage isn’t a feeling. It’s a decision you take amid fear. It is counter-logical but do it anyway. Authenticity; is the practice of being yourself and showing up as you- even when the world would prefer a different version. Show up anyway. Raised Expectations; raise your expectations to meet God’s promise for you; don’t lower them to agree with your present circumstances. I also shared tips on how to hope again when all hope is lost. I pray this episode fulfils my intention for it, which is to help you propel onto the next phase of your life, whatever that looks like, with confidence that God has got you. Resources: Finish Strong: Your Foundation for Starting Next Year Well Get Unstuck: Mindset Mentoring Programme The Simplifiers Podcast: How to Adopt a Healthy Mindset Let’s Connect: Have you subscribed to this podcast? Why don’t you do so on your favourite podcast app? Then head to Youtube.com/toksaruoture to watch and subscribe to my show, Living Inside Out. I would LOVE to connect with you on social; let’s stay in touch at toksauoture.com and hang out on Instagram- @toksaruoture and on Facebook, Living Inside Out.
Believing is Seeing: Take a step of faith
No doubt you have heard and perhaps used the adage, Seeing is believing. This suggests that you cannot deny what you can physically see. It also means that if you can’t see it, it doesn’t exist. In this episode, I challenge you to reverse that thinking; you see what you believe. The unseen world is superior to the seen; everything we see today started in the mind- either in the mind of the Creator or in the mind of man, the creator. Every painting we see and admire was completed in the artist’s mind before he represented it on canvas. Your shoes and clothes existed first in the designer’s mind before they fashioned what only they could see into the physical versions. It follows then that if you want to manifest an idea hidden in your mind, you must believe it is real and worthy of being embodied. We tend to only give our time and effort to what we can see- because we deem that real. But that demotes you from creator to arranger. You are simply rearranging other people’s creation and not manifesting any of yours. As always, I draw examples from my experiences which form the basis of the lessons shared to help you take a step of faith. Resources: The Simplifiers Podcast: How to Adopt a Healthy Mindset The Call of Abram: Genesis 12 Joshua’s Installation: Joshua 1 Get Unstuck: Mindset Mentoring Programme Let’s Connect: Have you subscribed to the Living Inside Out podcast? Why don’t you do so on your favourite podcast app? Then head to Youtube.com/toksaruoture to watch and subscribe to my show, Living Inside Out. I would LOVE to connect with you on social; let’s stay in touch at toksauoture.com and hang out on Instagram- @toksaruoture and on Facebook, Living Inside Out.
